Talk durty 2 me

in what fucking situation do you ever need this picture for

image

shes

nunderwater

i will piss on your sofa

basedpidgeot:

stop enforcing the idea that u need 2 be in a relationship 2 be happy sometimes u just need more cereal

sunnyinwisconsin:

colossaltitan:

calypso53:

one of my favorite things about hiking is when i come across a strange structure deep in the woods and am left to wonder how and why and when

how: demons. why: demon portal. when: 5 pm demon time

it’s always 5pm demon time, somewhere

super-who-lockian:

billion-shakespeare:

unamusedsloth:

Glitches in the matrix.

I’m freaking out

What…

monobeartheater:

absorr:

ultrafacts:

Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts

 Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I’m reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code, realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling “WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!”

AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE

colbaltdrg:

mewiet:

retrogradeworks:

I love to see children who are so delicate and gentle with animals.  It warms my heart amidst a sea of brats pulling cats’ tails and getting whacked.

Also JESUS THAT’S A SNUGGLY CHICKEN.

I love how she reaches up on her tippy toes to snuggle into his shoulder.

To be more exact, that’s a hen. Which is the female. This is likely not his first encounter with her. My grandpa had chickens and hens, and if you visit them frequently like this they develop affection to you. I would know, because I sat in the chicken coop alot. The hens get a small maternal kick, and come to cuddle you because she wants to keep you warm, like she would do with her chicks. This means the boy has spent alot of time with her, and that just makes it more heart warming.

I taught my lobsters how to be parrots… What did you do today?

{X}

deducingyou-at-abbeyroad:

westborofaptist:

smiles-hide-secrets:

westborofaptist:

but what if 13/13/13 falls on a friday omg

What month is that again?

the month you finally get laid

image

society: oh you have your period? well you have two options.
woman: okay.
society: you can use sanitary pads, which make you feel like you are wearing a diaper, and have the added fun benefit of being extremely uncomfortable and give you the extreme paranoia that they will not be enough coverage and at any moment with any movement or sudden sneeze you'll bleed over onto your clothes and walk around all day with blood stained trousers while everyone points and laughs at you.
woman: sounds awful. what's my second option.
society: a penis shaped wad of cotton that you shove uncomfortably inside yourself and it catches the blood before it leaves your body.
woman: still seems pretty awful.
society: wait! it gets better! there's the outside chance that using those will kill you!
woman: well, are they at least free? like how men can have access to free condoms? i mean, it's not like i'm choosing for this to happen.
society: HAHAHA! that's funny. no, you have to pay for them. and they're really fucking expensive.
woman:
society: oh, and if you tell anyone that you ARE on your period, your judgement, opinions, and reactions are going to be dismissed as the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.
woman:
society:
woman: i think i'll go with my third option.
society:
woman:
society: what third option?
woman: i think i'll bleed on everything you love.

injuries:

you’re so cute I just wanna hug you and kiss you and cuddle with you and also fuck you but hey man it’s whatever

hey rich white teen side of tumblr y’all got any spare macbooks y’all wanna toss this way?

vault11overseer:

power-of-allies49:

pleatedjeans:

via

Also one time he was supposed to write a violin and piano duet, and he wrote the violin part, but he didn’t really feel like writing the piano part, or was too lazy etc. When the concert came up (he played the piano while a fiend played the violin) he set up a blank piece of paper (so people would think he was reading music) and improvised. After the concert he wrote it down so it could be published

okay i’ve reblogged this before but can we just give a shoutout to the orchestra that had to sightread the overture to an audience at the premiere of an opera

captain-boomerang:

imagineteenwolflike:

captain-boomerang:

bringing this back around just in case you’ve had a bad day

my favorite thing about this post being popular is that people like you are using it to cheer other people up, that is rad, thank you for being rad

smokecigarettesamongstthestones:

My brother says “shit happens” in response to everything

My brother was given a “shit happens” mug because of this

My brother loved his “shit happens” mug like a child

Last week, my brother dropped his “shit happens” mug

You probably know what his reaction was

BEMPABABAAA
Manaia 15
Phan, DW, Sherlock, supernatural, bates motel, and good vibes man

{{Chelsea}}
BANANANA
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pohroro
Gay Pride